STD
by Ian Wrisley

 

 

 

Charlise is dead.  Thought you'd like to know.  Happy?  At least you can

stop worrying about the old man.

 

I should have told her.  Only fair.  I've been a hunter my whole life, after all.  Sportsmanship and all that.  The whole thing just seemed too damn good to be true.  I really didn't expect it would end up killing her.

 

I knew even before you warned me she was a goldbricker.  Why else would a twenty-five year old looker like that be interested in my dried-up old ass?

 

That story's been told so many times it's not even worth telling.  I'm

tired of hearing it.  Bottom line is this, I knew she was scheming to get her paws on my money.  I could tell from the day I met her.  And listen, like I told you before, I didn't mind.  I was happy to change the will to let her in on a piece of my action in trade for a piece of her action. You and your sister were always well taken care of.

 

I figured she'd  wait me out.  Pray for the obvious: cancer, heart attack, stroke, anything.  And for a while she tried.  But the pressure got to be too much, I guess.  First she tried to get me on the Viagra. I'm here to tell you I don't need it.  Never had any complaints, except from her.  

 

Then she decided we needed to take a little vacation, you know, something romantic, just the two of us.  I could tell she was going to try to literally screw me out of the money.  I was game if she was.

 

The first night - let me tell you.  Suffice it to say, I met the challenge, performed admirably.   Next day, she was right back at it.  

 

What she didn't know, was that this heart's tough as a hound dog's right nut.  That's what Doc told me when I started dating Charlise.  I should

have told you, but it was sort of my little secret.

 

Anyway she was working like a Turk to get my boiler stoked.  Then she was going to stand back and watch it melt.  I could see it in her eyes. Close to the end all the life seemed to drain out of them.  It wouldn't have surprised me to see dollar signs in them.

 

I told the police already, I didn't know about her arrhythmia.  I thought she'd eventually get tired of the game and we'd get back to "normal."

 

I can truly say I'm sorry.  And not only for the obvious reasons, either.  She was a nice kid, except when she was trying to kill me.  

___________

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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