I think to myself, "Is it tacky to ask a girl out after she just got a ticket for running into your car?" I chase this thought away with another: If something were to develop, a cute cocktail party story would begin, "Our first date was in the back of a police cruiser..." I decide that this, too, is tacky. And yet I hear myself saying, "Would you like to get a cup of coffee sometime?"

This is the first time in over 10 years that I have asked someone "out." I had momentarily forgotten the rush of emotion involved in that simple transaction. What if she says no? What if she says yes? This is coffee, not a "pick you up at 8, have you home by 11" date. Just coffee. But I've been out of this game for a long time, and so it surprises me that she says, yes, that would be fine, call her sometime. Conveniently, I have her number from the police report.

I saw Cara four times. The first was that Sunday morning when she ran into me - both of us on our way to do laundry. We chit-chatted while we waited for the police to arrive.

Here's what I learned:

• She's a local history buff; she even knows that the big steps on our street that lead from nowhere to nowhere are a leftover WPA project from the 30's.
• She's lived here on this street for a couple years now. She used to live a few blocks west, but as the murder rate rose (3 in a month), her comfort level sank.
• She has several pieces of Betty Boop paraphernalia on her car. I decide this is because she has big eyes, and looks a little like Betty.

About a week and a half later, we went out for coffee. I picked an out of the way place in a different part of town, where I won't see anyone I know. I'm feeling a strange sense of guilt, as I wonder what would happen if my soon-to-be-ex-wife were to wander in. She is "easy on the eyes," as they say, and I enjoyed her company.

Here's what I learned:

• She has a degree in history and a degree in education. She's worked for a chain bookstore for the past couple of years and seems to like that better than teaching.
• She is an avid reader, and has an outrageous number of books in her one bedroom apartment, and she knows the exact number.
• She has a mad crush on a guy at work. Sometimes he parks next to her, which I explain is probably to allow for the possibility of kissing in the parking lot after work. She says she's considered the same thing.
• Her now-deceased best friend was her "soul mate," but they never connected romantically. Her eyes water when she talks about him - he died of cancer several years ago.

The following weekend, I called Cara to ask her if she would like to have breakfast on Sunday morning. She suggested a place in the neighborhood, and I didn't feel that sense of guilt this time. We lingered over eggs and coffee for about 5 hours.

Here's what I learned:

• As a joke, she once placed a personal ad headlined something like "Urban VIII was was Pope in 1630." A long lost friend responded to it.
• She still feels bad about running into my car. She doesn't realize how badly I needed the money.
• She eats hot sauce on her eggs and puts ice in her coffee.
• She has more Betty Boop paraphernalia on her desk at work.

After 2 unreturned phone calls, I figured that was the end of that. Mix one part "her job takes her out of town" with one part "crush on a guy at work," add a dash of "this guy has an ex-wife & kids?!?" and stir. I decided I could accept that there might not be any further interest.

A month and a half later, I saw her on the street outside her building. She tells me that she has been busy (believable) and lost my new phone number (believable) and asks me for my number again.

"I don't want you to think I was blowing you off," she says.

"If you were, it's no big deal, I've been blown off before," I tell her.